Detour Signs

We were on our way to church, and our normal route was blocked and had a huge detour sign blocking it. I was aggrivated. I mean seriously, why? And then my honey tells me you know they have to strengthen the bridge. And does a light bulb go off.

How many times, in life, do we fight "detours" placed in our way? We are so set on going one way, but step after step, something gets in the way, but we fight it. We just know we have to get to where WE WANT to be, not where God wants us to be, but where WE want to be. And life gets ugly, and life gets messy. We start to feel like we will never get there, well obviously there is a reason for the chaos and mess. We are going against God's Will and His plan for our lives. He puts up huge flashing signs, He tries and stops us, but we ignore them. Once we stop and follow His plan, life gets so much more amazing.

Next time you feel the need to go around that detour sign, be careful. Your car may get stuck, you are gonna have to turn around and start all over.  Watch out for His sign and follow the directional signs to get you back on course!!

Nobody told Me

When you become a parent, after all your friends kids have hit puberty, nobody warns you how alone you will feel. When you become a parent of a special needs child, nobody warns you of how alone you will be.

7 years ago, we brought an amazing little boy into this world. He is so kind, loving and smart but he is also delayed, and has other neuro issues, that when people hear he is SN, "Are you sure? He looks normal." Or my favourite "He is just a 7 year old boy."

I sit here wondering about his future and what the world looks like to him. I sit here wondering if I did something wrong during my pregnancy and I sit here, thanking God for blessing me with this amazing kid.

You see at the end of the day, at the end of a very long and tiring and emotional day, at the end of the day that I have shed so many tears, I hear "Im sorry Mommy. I just cant help it." And my heart breaks all over again.  I look at my son and tell him that tomorrow is a new day and that his behavior will never stop me from loving him. That God loaned him to me and my job, as a Mommy, is to love him. And I get a sad smile and a "I love you," before he wipes his tears and snuggles down.

This "job" is by far the hardest job I could ever have. I have an 18 year old, whom I miss so much my heart hurts, and a 7 year old, that lights up my world. I wouldnt trade the endless sleepless nights, or the millions of tears shed for 1 minute without my boys.

Jesus Wept and so do I. Jesus gave grace and I do my best to do the same. Jesus died so that I could live again, and so that I could teach my boys about Him and His life. Thank you Jesus for your grace and for my boys!! Thank you for weeping and letting me know that its ok to cry. Thank you for loving me where I am and for who I am. And thank you for my boys.

Nobody told me being a mom would be so hard, or so alone but I know I have Jesus!!

Relative Time

Have you ever been driving somewhere, and you just lose time? Its like you had just left and all of a sudden you are at your destination. I wonder if that is how God sees time. One day He made us and the earth and the next minute He is sacrificing His Son for us. Does He blink and a million minutes have passed and even though He knows all, does He shake His head and go "Wow?"
Time is a relative concept. We know there are 60 secs in a minute, 60 mins in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and so on. And for us, 60 seconds can feel like a lifetime. The ticking of a clock that seems to just stand still when we need it to go faster, at the end of the day, when our kids are sick or when we just need the day to be over. And then there are times when we want time to just stop, watching our kids grow up, family times or just the end of a life. I wonder if God ever goes "I wish I could stop time and just enjoy my creation." I wonder if He says "I need to send Jesus back before they destroy each other." God has given us TIME and grace to do what He set forth. He finds joy in us, why cant we use the time He has given us and find the joy and share it. Next time you look at a clock, and either wish for time to stand still or for time to speed up, thank Him for giving us time.

Windshield Wipers

Today has been a wet and dreary day. The rain seems to come in spurts. Driving my son to school, there wasnt enough rain to keep my wipers on, but just enough to have to flick them on. And the same this afternoon. But what occured to me on the way home, as I was once again turning them on, to wipe away the rain, is that God is our personal windshield wiper.
He wipes the dirt out of our eyes, so that we can see clearly. He wipes the gunk out of our ears, so we can hear Him clearly and He wipes the hurt/pain out of our hearts, so that we can love freely. He does this, so that we wouldnt have to constantly flick on our wipers, but that we constantly have them on. He is wanting to remove the dirt, the grime and the flesh from our lives, so that when someone else is having a dreary day, we could be their light and show them the true Son!! So next time it rains, and your wipers are on, take a moment and thank Him for being your personal wiper!!